Insane Like Me movie poster

Insane Like Me

In theaters June 4, 2024

Rated

84 minutes

Directed by:

Starring: , , , ,

Insane Like Me (2024) is equal parts Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996) and Hell House, LLC (2015), but not the good parts. Its only redeeming quality is it has Eric Roberts.

I said what I said.

Framed for a disappearance/murder he didn’t commit (because of the vampires), former combat veteran and Lorenzo Lamas if you ordered him from Temu, Jake Morgan (Britt Bankhead) is sent without due process to an insane asylum (because of the vampires). It’s the kind of asylum that is only seen in movies for which “research” only goes as far as skimming gonzo exploitation films from the 80s, run by a Dr. Stoker (Jack Maxwell). Nine years later he returns to uncover the mystery of his girlfriend’s (Grace Patterson) disappearance (because of the vampires). There’s a brief montage of weight-lifting and weapons caching and somehow he gets kitted out in a leather jacket and black muscle car. No one in the town likes him, especially not his old friends or his missing girlfriend’s father, Sheriff Davis (Eric Roberts).

Meanwhile, in an abandoned hotel that seems fully furnished with electricity there are skanky vampires who all hiss before biting, mad scientists, and a secret that Sheriff Davis is keeping from the whole town! While pinning every murder Jake into believing he’s still a psychotic maniac, there’s an actual maniac roaming the halls of the Massacre Hotel. Could it be vampires?

Yep.

Why?

Dunno.

Insane Like Me is a microbudget film that spent every penny on Eric Roberts. I’m not faulting the script for its disjointed and convoluted pacing, because you can almost see the film gelling in the hopeful expressions of the background actors. Long before the halfway mark, it takes a weird left and scoots into Crazy Town, throwing all semblance of pacing and continuity out the window. For the last 40 minutes, it’s bloodletting, running, fighting, some Latin, and some shooting, because guns have always stopped vampires, right? We don’t get an explanation that would make sense for any of that because apparently, we don’t deserve one. With a runtime of 85 minutes Insane Like Me is a collection of fever dreams, set to film in 3-minute bits and string together with the hope that no one is noticing the inconsistent vampires, the abrupt costume changes, and an overall soundtrack mixed with a TDK recordable audio cassette, mud, and desperation.

It has Eric Roberts in it, which is the only reason I requested it to review. As the overly protective father of two beautiful daughters, his Sheriff Davis goes to extremes to keep Jake away from his family, while maintaining law and order in his sleepy East Texas town. This is probably the third movie in as many months I’ve seen Eric Roberts play a lawman (of a sort) and I’m sure his rider says he’ll bring his own clothes. I’m fine with it. He manages to elevate Insane Like Me from a throwaway schlocky vampire film to a vampire film almost worthy of a Prime TV rental. This movie gets an extra half-star.

You take your wins where you can get them.

Insane Like Me (2024) is unrated and straight to VOD, so it’s a tame PG-13 for swears, booby vampires, people getting shot in the head, people getting stabbed, explosions, lip sewing, and unsanitary asylum conditions.

Insane Like Me is streaming now on the following services:
Movie Reelist Contributor: MontiLee Stormer
MontiLee Stormer is a writer of horror, dark and urban fantasy. She’s also is a troublemaker, concocting acts of mayhem and despair for her own selfish pleasure. An avid movie watcher, she prefers horror but will see just about anything if you're buying. Poltergeist (1982) is her favorite movie and she actively hates The Shining (1980) due to its racism, misogyny, the butchering of the source material. She could host a TEDtalk on this single subject. Writing about herself in the third person is just a bonus.

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