Movie Review – Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

Did you ever see Tropic Thunder? Do you remember those satiric trailers of Ben Stiller’s Tugg Speedman in progressively over-the-top sequels of his action hero franchise…up to it’s latest installment, Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown? It’s not an exaggeration to compare the latest Fast & Furious film to that gag. In fact, when Fast & Furious proper returns next year, I fully expect John Cena to land a Five Knuckle Shuffle on Vin Diesel as they race to the moon in a tricked-out spaceship.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw is a slight detour from the norm only in the downsizing of its cast. Everything else about this movie is your typical Fast & Furious recipe, including the aforementioned one-upping of the ridiculousness of the plot, and special effects/stunts from the previous iteration. This time around, Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) must put aside their differences to take down Brixton (Idris Elba), a part-man-part-machine puppet with aspirations to commit global genocide via a highly deadly virus. But Brixton must first obtain that virus from Hattie Shaw (yes, Deckard’s sister, played by Vanessa Kirby) who has injected the virus into her own body. Hobbs and Shaw have to track her down, protect her, lose her to the villain, rescue her back, and protect her again until the threat is eliminated. Spoiler alert: they succeed.

The effects are really impressive, but any move any of these characters make is PERFECT. Perfectly choreographed and perfectly executed regardless of the degree of impossibility or improbability. Nary a scratch on anyone to the point where you can’t help but wonder if anyone (except the hundreds of innocent bystanders) are in any real danger. If this were any movie other than the ninth Fast & Furious movie, it’d be immediately dismissed as crap…anyone remember when Rock & Co. pulled the same nonsense in 2013’s G.I. Joe: Retaliation? It’s the same movie.

But please…pardon the snarky review…I actually enjoyed Hobbs & Shaw despite that feeling of “oh come on!” anytime an action sequence shamelessly played out on-screen. The chemistry between Johnson and Statham is undeniable. The professionalism and suave of Elba is unquestionable. It’s a darn beautiful movie full of excellent ‘splosions and well-timed curse words. But come on! A transforming motorcycle that can flawlessly split the uprights between two crossing semi-truck tractors? I’m drawing a line in the sand. Please bring this franchise back to reality.